Et tu, Beckett? Nice titanic haircut.

Since last we spoke, Panic at the Disco have turned into three Beatles and Bearded Ellen Degeneres. I am so confused by their recent stylistic decisions. They're like a weird conglomeration of the 70s and mid90s. I should be glad that Ryan "Forehead" Ross finally saw the (black)light but I think the bowlcut is really more of a lateral move from the titanic haircut than a step up.

Why does Ryan Ross have so many lapels? I counted and there are THREE SETS. Is that a floral vest? WHY DOES HIS POCKET SQUARE CLASH? I appreciate his attention for detail, I do, but it's often times kind of misguided.

Jon Walker's vest and trousers make him look a little bit stout-- or at least very strangely proportioned. I truly mourn what joining this band has done to him. One of the constants in my relationship with this band has been the fact that I would definitely sleep with him, but this makes me almost question that. And I am easy, y'all.

As for Brendon and Spencer, my beef with their outfits is the same: clashing patterns. I'm seeing this on the runway too, and I don't get it. I still kind of hate that they are not sticking to a uniform color pallette.

Panic at the Disco, what happened? You went from bad to worse. What happened to your glam rocky makeup and Dior Homme-esque outfits? Now that you guys can afford couture, you're sticking to 70s thrift store paisley? Dressing like the Beatles won't make you relevent.

Oh hey there guys. Miss me? I bet you did, if any of the angry emails I got are to be believed!

Anyway, Panic! at the Disco is back and sadly did not take any of my advice in regards to styling. Instead I guess they want to be the Beatles? At least that's what Brendon's bowl cut would indicate. And is that a plaid pantsuit, Ryan Ross? I am a little bit bemused by the 70s baby mullet.
You look like Mary from Peter, Paul and Mary.

And while Ryan Ross finally turned Jon Walker into a badly dresses idiot, he is still the only member of Panic! at the Disco that any girl above 14 would fuck, which means he still wins.

Meanwhile, Spencer still looks like a pedophile cult leader. I guess some things truly never change.

Also: Why do their respective palettes not coordinate. These people have GOT to stop styling themselves.

I was going to talk about Andy and the hideous Clandestine merchandise he is wearing but then I got distracted/blinded by Patrick's shiny, pleather-y, zippy jacket. What the hell is that thing? He looks like Missy Elliott back when she was was fatter and was into wearing trashbags.

I don't know what the fuck is going on here. I don't know what's more perplexing, Ryan Ross' steadfast dedication to the Titanic haircut or Perez Hilton's ruddy complexion. Why is he so red? Is he drunk? Maybe he's excited to be so close to Ryan. Maybe he thinks Ryan is actually Leonardo DiCaprio.

I can't even make a mean comment about Ryan's Oliver outfit, Perez is just too confusing to look at.

I found this picture on a certain celebrity gossip site, on a certain server that hosts certain online diaries. The post in question claimed that Pete is now a (gasp) pill popper, thanks to Yoko, and the rest of the band is threatening to quit if he doesn't straighten up (so to speak).



Perhaps it explains why he thought wearing a beanie to a social event that requires you to wear a tie was a good idea.

Sorry it's been so long since the last update but I'm afraid there is some sort of drought of new pictures lately. In fact, this isn't even a new picture (as evidenced by Jack Marin's presence with Sh**nt,) but it is a good example of a trend I hate, as far as streetwear goes. Meaning: the whole wacky, hideous print thing. When did it become cool to look like you got attacked by a six year old with a potato stamp and some fabric paint? I'm just picturing Pharrell or whoever, after his kid brother or nephew got lose in his closet, thinking "Yes, this will do."

Intellectually, I know it's a status thing like limited edition Dunks or logo clothing or the it bag for the season. You see a particular print and know that that shirt cost homeboy $300. I just think it's bullshit. Style has nothing to do with cost. That's why rich people have no sense of style. They think they can dress head to toe in trendy, expensive clothing and automatically it means they've got taste, but it doesn't, it just means they've got money.

Anyway, I also wanted to post this picture because Jack Marin looks like my aunt Carol. I am so glad he's no longer a member of Cute Is What We Aim For (by the way, losing the only semi-attractive member of your band is not such a good way of achieving said aim) because now I can stop kind of sort of not really caring about such a goddamn awful band. Also, and I know this is a cheap shot, but do you think it would be possible for Sh**nt to part his hair further to the side? Like, say, at his jaw? Because then maybe his face would entirely be covered and I wouldn't have to see it anymore.